i went to knotts scary farm last night it was so much fun.i went with luke and his brother phill.
horray! for fun people who dont act like there 45!

One day i decided to take a trip. to get away from everything. people.traffic. ex-girlfriend. life in general. everything. My friend phill and i went to alaska and back. We spent 2 months there camping, fishing, climbing and working. It was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen before in my life.


When i started planning this trip it was in a very bitter and depressing time for me. i got hurt on by someone who i completly adored. I had no direction or motivation at all. No plan or balance for anyting that was going on in my life. My love for learning and teaching my faith was dry. i felt so alone and useless.
I honestly thank god for making my life suck so bad that i wanted to give up. i thank him for teaching me everything while i was away.


some nights we so bad and so lonley phill and i would just stare at eachother and cry ourselves to sleep. We prayed and prayed everynight that we would be safe from animals and people. i found myself in alaska. i know who i am, what i like, and what i am. i love myself and love to be myself.
some think it was irresponsible and stupid, i know it was gift from god and i would'nt change anything that i did. i walked into those woods one person and walked out a completly different person 64 days later.

even lions cant balance

i just got home from work!! ai yi yi its 3:30am. i made 80 bucks in tips today!
so joe cool if you ask me. now its off to the gym to run, or as i say fun fun fun!!

the old advebtures of my new self.

lonesome, somewhat exhausted. But still following the spirit with not much hope. empty words, empty faith. hypercrite. devour and devouring my somewhat blind courage.
IM 20 YEARS OLD! 10 toes 10 fingers. no heart no shame no embarasment. im 5 foot ashamed, careless but also loved.


I hear stories of sacrafice and surrender. What am i worth? this underlined relationship i have with myself doesn't seem to find any escape within it own boundries i set for myself. im loved. im loved. im loved. i want to let the sails of my spirit and faith sail away! im the dark, vast piece of ocean snappling wave after wave in the form of words and actions. im unable to speak. my thoughts intake air, just to find them a new wind, landing only on the stairwell of my own failure. in or out and no in between.

ive been cycling all day today! ve been exhausting myself with running, biking and the gym, trying to get ready for my goal, a 100 mile bike race on december 29. i get off from work at 1:30am tonight then its back to the gym!! it will all be worth it when i cross that finish line.